ok technically i never was. last night i went out in the city for my sister in-law’s bachelorette party…and i realized that i am old…in terms of my age most would say no you not…but last night made me feel old.
at one point in my life i was happy to go out…have drinks…dance my pants off. and now the highlight of my life on any given week is possibly getting to go to target solo…which by the way almost never happens.
i use to wear heals on occasion…now my “patagonia slip on maryjanes” are where its at. seriously…some of the outfits i saw last night were outrageous…espesh for 15′ temperature. but did i feel super hot in my super duper cheap old navy jeans with a waist that goes up to my belly button to keep my post baby squish in…also adorning the “diaper butt” because lets face it…old navy jeans suck and they lose their shape within 5 minutes of putting them on. the answer would be NO. do i need to feel hot when going out to a “club” as a married woman with a baby…it wouldn’t be a bad thing.
i didn’t drink lastnight…mainly because i had to drive home…40 minutes…and i HATE to drive at night. so i figured my hate along with the 1:00am departure time was not a good mix with alcohol. would i have enjoyed myself and let lose if i had…probably.
now don’t get me wrong…i did have fun..and mostly because the girls i was with were hysterical and the most important part was…steph was having a good time! i did get my squishy ass up on a mechanical bull…and prob due to my soberness…stayed on for a pretty decent amount of time.
but as i rode back to my car in the limo alone…and on my drive home…i thought a lot about myself…how did i get here? i’m 27…yet i feel WAY older than that. again…don’t get me wrong…i LOVE my life…i have the most amazing husband…and the coolest little girl for a daughter. i get to spend day in and day out taking care of my family and home…making sure they are happy.
it is almost 4 years ago that chris and i started dating…and yet in that 4 years i feel i have changed…SO MUCH. and it took me going out to realize this….kind of made me a little sad…am i not a fun person anymore? do others think i am not fun? i rattled all these questions over and over in my head on my drive home last night. i was tired and trying to stay awake. and about 5 minutes from home…on the radio came…
train’s…”hey soul sister”
many might not know…but ella and i dance to this song everyday…so i belted out the lyrics…with tears in my eyes…because you know what…she thinks i am fun….and i would rather dance my pants off with her any day of the week! and thats all that matters.
You are a rockstar in my book!!!! ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU HOPPED UP AND SPUN ON A STRIPPER POLE WITH OUT HESITATION ON A STAGE….. you forgot to mention to everyone that. and you were a blast, im so glad you came out and steph specifically said so too :)
love you
I know exactly how you feel. I have felt so far removed from that whole scene for so long. I love being with my friends and all that- but I am more into dinner and board games then skimpy clothes and clubs. I think I saw a comment on twitter that you are “still a rockstar- just different kind” and it is soooo freaking true, my friend. I mean, Hudson thinks my version of Yo! Gabba Gabba! songs are wayyyy better than the originals! And to me- that’s all that matters.
we all move through different stages in our lives… in each one we are a rockstar! it is a strange feeling to visit an old stage, what we need to do is remember those moments fondly. i hope you & ella rock’d to hey soul sister the next day! x
I am with you on that part myself girl, you are not the only one who feels like that, I think it comes with mommy hood and all the new wonderfull changes that have happened in the past few years for you! You partied with us, you laughed alot, I saw you, and you made us laugh! It was great, we are so glad you came, and Steph said it a few times… you got on that pole and bull like it was nothing, and you were sober, who does that??? I sure the heck didn’t and man, did I feel old looking at what eveyone was wearing, I was counting down the minutes untill I could get back and put my comfy pants on, I soooooo understand the whole jean and shoe thing, I felt so out of place…. Love you Kerri, and you are doing great. Smile and laugh alot, and let things just role, and enjoy your whole family! Its good for you…. see you in a few weeks!!! And will party more like its 1998!
i don’t call it mommy-hood, Kerri… i call it growing up. im 24, not married, no kids… and ive felt the same way at three different bachelorette parties. really, i just dont see why anyone finds that same college scene of night clubs etc at all entertaining after graduation… but siiiigh… what can we do? don’t feel bad! you, id say, are part of the majority. cheers to board games!
I feel the same way. When my husband went out to celebrate a bachelor party a few weeks back and I volunteered to pick him up. Not only did everyone look 12 but it seemed all the girl were wearing super short skirts/tank tops/crazy boots. I kept pointing pointing out the car window “oh! Look at her outfit…. seriously? it’s 38 degrees out!”. I felt very old. But then I woke up the next morning to a sweet baby poking at my eyes and was very happy to be a retired rock star even though I wasn’t ever really one either:).